Why Me?

If somebody only knew how I felt, knew what how I feel. All of these things are aimed at me. My kids, my business, my property... all destroyed. Everything against me. Why is God playing target practice with me? I thought he'd have better aim and just take me out!
I wish he would. It'd put an end to this misery.
Why do I still hold onto hope? Why am I so patient with all these problems?
I am only human; how much until I break? I don't see a way out of this mess.
And my friends are no help. They come and go, never really there for me. I have never asked them for a handout. In all that I've been through, I've never said, "Just let me borrow..."
What did I do wrong? Is this punishment for something?
Look at my actions. I've gone through this as well as any could. Has my integrity been compromised?
How much longer will this last? I will have to die one day, soon probably. I lie down and wonder if I will get up. But then I cannot fall asleep. I toss and turn all night. My life seems so short, but my body makes me feel every minute of every day. I cannot keep from complaining. The deepest parts of me are being tortured.
When I do fall asleep, even my dreams become nightmares. I'm not sure which are reality and which are imagined anymore. I despise the body I live in. I wish it would end. I prefer it to end.
Why am I so special to have to wake up every morning? especially to such pain. Why do I have to be put through so much every day? I want to be left alone. Just for a minute.
If I have done something wrong, how do I make it right? Will that fix this?
Soon I will lay down one last time.
Someone will call for me, but I will not answer.