Stop helping! it's not working

My friend Eli called me trying to cheer me up. I almost hung the phone up on him.
The first thing he says is, "I know its none of my business, but..."
     Great way to start a conversation. If its not your business, why'd you call?
"So you've helped a lot of people, right? You've volunteered, you're always helping somebody who's down on their luck."
     OK. He's piling it on pretty thick. I mean, this all true, but why bring it up now?
"I was thinking, why is all this bad luck coming to you all of a sudden? Why now? in such a short amount of time? Shouldn't some of the good karma you've spread come back around? What goes around comes around, is what I've always heard."
     If I know Eli, he'll start some grand preconceived lecture any second now... And it will have some analogy that has animals in it... every time...
"I mean, all those people that are constantly treating people badly are the same who are getting bad in return."
     Here come the animals...
"Take dogs for example, you'll see an innocent little child slapping a dog and pulling its ears. And the dog will just lay there and take the abuse. But take the same dog with a person does others wrongly, and that dog will get nasty in a hurry! I was watching the ants the other day...
     More animals!
"...and you have your worker ants, and your army ants, and your queen ant. Obviously the queen is in charge, but what if a worker took charge? He'd be killed by the army! And if a army ant took charge, he'd definitely get killed, 'cause he's held to a higher standard than a measly worker ant."
     I'm confused. What happened to the angry dog?
"But its like, us humans can't be better than God. I mean he even judges His own angels! We're definitely low on the totem pole."
     Gosh, Eli. Had to take the longest possible route for that one, huh?
"Kinda reminds me that our lives are like, just a day. And then we die. Crazy."
     Thats what I needed to hear - more death. CLICK!